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Dealing with Anxiety – Part 7: Anxiety, Avoidance, and the Cycle That Keeps You Stuck
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When anxiety arises, the natural instinct is to avoid the situation or task that triggers discomfort.
Avoidance gives short-term relief, making the nervous system feel safer temporarily.
The problem is that avoidance strengthens anxiety over time, teaching the brain that the feared situation is truly dangerous.
🔄 The Anxiety–Avoidance Cycle
The cycle works like this:
• Anxiety triggers discomfort or fear
• Avoidance or escape provides temporary relief
• Relief reinforces the belief that avoidance is necessary
• Anxiety returns, often stronger or in a new form
This loop keeps anxiety active, even in safe situations, making life feel more restrictive.
🧠 Common Examples of Avoidance
Avoidance can take many forms, sometimes subtle:
• Postponing tasks or decisions
• Avoiding social situations or conversations
• Checking, over-preparing, or overthinking
• Physically withdrawing from stressors
• Suppressing emotions instead of acknowledging them
Recognising avoidance is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
🌬 How to Interrupt the Cycle Safely
Breaking avoidance doesn’t mean forcing yourself into panic.
Gradual, supportive exposure helps retrain the nervous system. Examples include:
• Facing small, manageable steps toward the feared situation
• Pairing exposure with grounding or breathing exercises
• Reminding yourself that discomfort does not equal danger
• Celebrating even minor successes to build confidence
Small, repeated experiences help the brain learn that anxiety is tolerable.
🫂 Support Can Make Exposure Safer
Facing anxiety is easier with support. Safe, non-judgmental guidance can help you:
• Plan gradual exposure in realistic steps
• Reassure and ground yourself during difficult moments
• Reflect on progress without self-criticism
• Maintain motivation when anxiety spikes
Support reinforces safety rather than reinforcing fear.
🌿 Final Thoughts 💞🌈
Avoidance may feel like protection, but it keeps anxiety alive.
By learning to face discomfort in small, steady ways, you teach your nervous system that you can handle uncertainty.
Over time, the cycle weakens, confidence grows, and anxiety loses its control over your daily life.
